imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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