So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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