He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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