you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
