In the future we'll all be gay
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
