Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
