one might say we're banned from that church
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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