My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
