tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
