oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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