I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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