I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
