Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
