so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
