i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
