You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
