Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize