i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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