He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
