Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
