remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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