is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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