Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize