Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
