(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I smell like Dick and happiness
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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