We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize