yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
