we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize