I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize