From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
