I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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