i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize