I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
