Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
