im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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