he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
