Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
