i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
