Im at strip club and am horny
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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