Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
