I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize