I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
