best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just pee around me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize