p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
