He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
