I must be too annoying 4 u.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
