Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
