Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
