She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
