By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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