Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
