whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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