HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
