I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
