it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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