you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
