you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize