someone threw a dead crab at me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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