Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
