Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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